I am not a writer but on this page are little thoughts I like to share and down below is something to the one who is my hero.
A Family Poem
There is so much I want to say, so much of me is you and I really don't know where one begins and the other starts. I feel we are as God intended, a true marriage in Him.
You have been so much of me, you and I are truley one. We started off oh so small, with kinder-garden, our gaint then. You and I played amoung the trees, smiling laughing, life a breeze.
Soon we knew our freindship had become a strong bond, we would have so very long. We had such freedom in our youth, dreams and plans we both knew it. We were full of such youth and wonder, going to college to make us stronger.
God picked us from the start, He knew we had what it took to never part. He gave us trials right away and we buried those we miss today. So many shared our love back then and so many more will share again.
What drew you and I was there from the beginning, a kindred of each others heart, both full of love to share, we were blessed to give our some, for others care.
So our story began with a marriage, my daddy would take my hand, we would never know then how much we were blessed to have him with us, our life such a mess.
He would gently suggest to go God's way, it would take time for us to pray.
A child born, a father's joy his little body so small and scarey, we were given a gift of a boy. His name Jakeb spelled this way to make him different, his fathers way.
We were so young back then, thought everything was so hard, what we would give to have that time again. He would bring such joy with in our place and we would soon have my fathers face.
We moved to help old dad, staying in a tiny house full of love and happy days, these would soon be left behind, as worry of another child would take it's place,
A tiny being inside of me, we shared a sickness that would bring such questions, doctors saying she is damaged, her little kidney full of cysts, a momma who could barley manage, hooked up to tubes and needles, so weak from the loose of so much, morning sickness twenty-four seven
Her and I would share a battle, one so scarey to not know, if the child you carry will grow, will she die upon arrival or will she beat the odds for survivial.
She was meant to be as her name was given, it was all His Grace, Kicking screaming a fighter born, she had been choosen for this place. Her kidney would be the littlest matter, she had something hidden that was much sadder.
Still, she added a smile, for who could argue, she was a miracle sent from heaven above to give us a deep understanding of what love was, we would take a long journey, to try to discover, the reason why we were given another.
For a brother was brought to save her, yet he too had this mysterouis case, and we were tested in our faith. Deep down in side, we both knew, it wasn't just the two.
We couldn't face the thought of three, for what we read on this case, only made us want to flee, not the children, but the disease, for it was known to be the end, after illness that would not cease.
I named our son Samuel, for in the Bible, it means you asked for him, and the other part, had not occured but he was to be given to the Lord. He was such a little Hurley, which made his Pa Pa so very proud, to know an ornery child was about, gave my father such a fell, you know the one to get to watch what all parents wish, a child who will tests you wits!
We were struggling bad, unable to face what they might have. We didn't like to share the news, but soon we had no, way not to. We needed prayer and fast, we didn't know it but our family would be close to fading fast.
I knew the adversary well, his evil way, with tricks to make you get to play. He was on to us, waiting to destroy, a loving family, God's pride and joy. He came around one night, just as my husband was seeing the light.
He nearly one right there but my husband called for a Savior, when Jesus came to see, He brought angels with such glee. He changed my husbands heart with a seal that can never part.
The old devil, he still comes around but this here family has been found! We belong to a higher place, we belong to to our Fathers house, we are able to fight that evil for we have the One not equal. We have a God who came to be a mere mortal Man, He never sinned, not a day, yet His people just throw Him away.
But there were ones who were battling sin and they needed a Savior too so now until the end comes which we pray is soon, we call His name and His sends His army to singing such a tune, one of freedom for all who ask, given to the worse of us.
We are a family in Him, my husband the leader here, guarding and dressed to fight, with the armour of God head to feet.
We pray each new day, when things seem not going our way, to remember our home isn't here, it's eternity we need so near, fighting slaying by His side, all His enemies weather He knew or not, will no longer have a place in to share their lies, they will be thrown from the skies, into a fire of hell and Satan put in a hole to stay 1000 years were told.
We shall fell no sadness then, well be in His presence, nothing here will we wonder, but instead how we lived and treat one another. There will be a time a place for judgement we ALL will face. Then and there is the only test for if you pass the race you won but if you fail you do not belong to the Son.
To My Husband, My Freind
Chris, nobody understands what we go through more than you. No one else hurts and feels the sting of pain that we both feel. Yet, just you and I who understand just what suffering has been with you at hand, knows it will oneday be at end. We shall grow old together you and I, all the dreams of life gone by. Well sit hand and hand and realise were heaven bond. Our true life starts up there and well have no more pain to share. Christ will open up his arms, well run and feel His love, our times of life on earth filled with the glory of His worth. All our suffering gone like that, so why do we in our flesh, hang on to things of past.
My dear sweet husband, I write this for you, the strongest man I ever have known and the kindest heart that beats inside. always ready to help another, feeling Christ within your soul. You have given All to us and All to Him. You want nothing in exchange other than a better chance for your children. You are content to live on a piece of land with a two bedroom trailer and hooking up the travel trailer for the kids to sleep in. You hate this is all you can offer but you deserve to have something that is all yours and no one can hold over you, given from God above. Your happiness lies in an afternoon of fishing with your fly rod and your children who you spend the greater part getting knots out of all of our lines. You linger as I do to look up at the night stars seeing millions in the quiet sound of a whipper whil singing us to sleep. Breathing the smoke filled air of a campfire while roasting marshmallows and talking of the memories of our many adventures, speaking of little things only our family finds funny. You long for your friends who stand by your side, few but true and ready to lie down their life for you just as you would for them. You are a true hero to the wife who doesn't say it near enough. I man who tends to every need each of us have. Your nature isn't perfect but you have learned to walk in Christ and most of the time, you catch yourself and curb what we call the Cox explosion! Most of the time, coming out from the well known Irish tempered wife you married and well deserved as she has not achieved that gift and hard work of walking minute by minute, watching every word you speak and still gets us into trouble but always confesses maybe not as fast as she should but deep in her heart, she will do anything for you.
She is not the one who raises every morning and drives to a job listening to Preachers on the way to tell me about later that day. She doesn't work long hard hours away from home and family, only to know that no matter how hard and how much he tries, he cannot provide for his family. You always give God the praise and honor and it isn't often easy to put your Pride away, it fact, their are some that make it really rough, yet you just look at the faces of your family and bear whatever you must take. Advice from all sides, those who haven't a clue but sure seem to have walked in your shoes. Only the few other fathers like you who bear the same fate can surely feel your pain. So far they are though so much of the time, while those who love you best often say the worst. You continue your walk, knowing in the end, none of it matters, only one friend, His name is Jesus and when the day comes and He meets this child and he falls to His feet, nothing will matter, no pain anymore, just loved ones to hold and a soldier of the Lord.